Ponderizing Week 6: The Star Went Before Them

I decided to read through the beginning of the New Testament about Christ's life in preparation for Christmas. So get ready for some Christmas-themed scriptures! ;)
This week is Matthew 2:9

9 When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was.

I loved this scripture. I have read a few scriptures lately that show God guiding His followers. I love to think that I'm not on my own. I can ask for help from those around me. There will be "stars" That will lead me to Christ.



http://www.fatherjames.org/2012/01/07/the-epiphany-2/

Ponderizing Week 5: Repentance and Change

 I opened my scriptures the other day hoping for inspiration. In D&C 58:15-16 the Lord is speaking of Edward Partridge.

 

15 But if he repent not of his sins, which are unbelief and blindness of heart, let him take heed lest he fall.

16 Behold his mission is given unto him, and it shall not be given again.

 

These verses really spoke to my heart. It reminded me that I have received a lot of truth and inspiration that I already need to be following. That sometimes my unbelief and blindness of heart is what is hindering me in my own life.

 

To repent means to turn to the Lord, away from whatever is causing us not to come unto Him.

To repent means to change. I like thinking of repentance in that way, because I believe a lot of the time we need to repent, it's not because we've been rebelling willfully against God. A lot of times, us moving away from God is actually initially caused by other people or outside circumstances. But we still need to change.

https://kzlam36.wordpress.com/2013/04/22/heavenly-shift-and-change-ahead/

 

 

I will always need to change to be better, even if I'm not choosing to rebel, just because I am a human. We make mistakes, and we need to consistently make positive change to get to where we need to be.

Here's to already working on what we know, and changing, or repenting and accessing the power of the Atonement to become better! :)

Ponderizing Week 4: A Summer with Great Aunt Rose

This week I have chosen what Elder Utchdorf has proclaimed to be the heart of the gospel: love. In his recent talk, "A Summer with Great-Aunt Rose," he talks about a girl who goes to spend the summer in the country with her Great-Aunt Rose. She learns that despite struggles, Great-Aunt Rose is very happy.
Elder Utchdorf said:
 

"When we love God, we want to serve Him. We want to be like Him. When we love our neighbors, we stop thinking so much about our own problems and help others to solve theirs.”
“And that is what makes us happy?” Eva asked.
Great-Aunt Rose nodded and smiled, her eyes filling with tears. “Yes, my dear. That is what makes us happy.”

http://oldcountryhouse.co.uk/self-catering

 

It's been a long week. I was very distracted by a personal family matter that was reminding me of some very traumatic experiences. I cried a lot. I distanced myself from some close friends. I found it impossible to talk about. I felt the disintegration that I had been taught to feel most of my life.

I worked hard to care for myself, but I was having a hard time extending compassion.

I listened to this talk and it helped me remember instead the healing process that I've been through. That I can love and serve God and others, empowered by my love of God. I love God for many reasons. It was through Him that I gained healing and I know I can access that healing power every day. He has blessed me with so much! Tough life experiences come, but there are also amazing blessings. And I trust God because he has given me so much, that he will continue to bless me, especially if I am trying my best to be the way he would want me to be.

With these thoughts and feelings, it becomes easy and natural to look around and reach out to those who are also suffering and help them. And this is what makes a happier life. :)

Ponderizing Week Three: As the Light of the Morning

For week three, I chose Joseph Smith - Matthew verse 25-26.

25 Wherefore, if they shall say unto you: Behold, he is in the desert; go not forth: Behold, he is in the secret chambers; believe it not;
26 For as the light of the morning cometh out of the east, and shineth even to the west, and covereth the whole earth, so shall the coming of the Son of Man be.

Wikipedia.com - mmacbeth

These scriptures are talking specifically about the Second Coming; however, I think it can apply to many things. There are a lot of situations, dating, career, financial choices and big health choices that can cause us to wonder, "Is this it? Should I do this?"
This scripture spoke peace to my soul as I was thinking the other day about some decisions and being scared that I wouldn't know them when they came. But I feel that the important things, God will make sure we know and don't miss. We won't have to worry about missing things important to our eternal salvation. :)

Ponderizing Week 2: Fear Not Little Flock, They Cannot Prevail D&C 6:34

This week I am ponderizing on D&C 6:33-36:

D&C 6:33 Fear not to do good, my sons, for whatsoever ye sow, that shall ye also reap; therefore, if ye sow good, ye shall also reap good for your reward.
34 Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail.
35 Behold, I do not condemn you; go your ways and sin no more; perform with soberness the work which I have commanded you.
36 Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.

Mormonchronicle.com

One of my good friends sent me D&C 6:34 to pump me up at work. I work in drug and alcohol prevention. We are little. Our efforts sometimes feel like we're fighting against earth and hell, because there are just such well-funded, well-organized proponents that are pushing drugs and alcohol on society. It's sad. Anyone who thinks drugs and alcohol are a choice do not understand advertising and media literacy.
Specifically, working with marijuana lately has felt like trying to push back a tidal wave. A tsunami that you know will do damage. Yet, it's being shoved down the throats of the public. Lies, deceit and "conspiring men," make it difficult to get the truth out, or even have concerns heard.

So I loved this thought- to fear not to do good, for whatsoever ye sow, that shall ye also reap. Fear not little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail.

Ponderizing Week 1: Not Yet as Job D&C 121:10, Ether 12:27

I loved Devin G. Durrant's talk this General Conference! I made a commitment to "ponderize" a scripture a week, which I'll be posting about on this blog.

For week one, I actually chose two scriptures, based on an experience I had.

Sunday evening, I was reminded of something that really pulled on my heart strings. Whenever I'm feeling sad or down or like I'm going through a stretching experience, a scripture often comes to my mind. D&C 121:10 "Thou art not yet as Job..." meaning even though things are hard, people have been tested and tried more than you and basically, it could be worse!
I really love the story of Job.

God allows Satan to tempt Job, a very righteous man, as much as he can to see if Job will be true and faithful. Job is rejected, loses his family, is deserted by his wife, becomes very painfully ill - covered in boils, is financially ruined...basically anything bad that can happen does. People tell him to curse God, but he doesn't, although he struggles and questions why he was even born. He learns, endures and is chastised. In the end, he is blessed with great blessings, more than he'd ever had before, and dies happy.





William Blake - Job Rebuked by his Friends ayay.co.uk

Anyway, I woke up around 4:45 AM (from a really good dream too...) with pain that I periodically get. It was really, really bad. It used to be this bad frequently when I was younger, but in recent years much more manageable. I took some medicine immediately. I contorted into a few different positions trying to alleviate the pain a little. I knew the medicine would probably kick in within a few minutes, so all I had to do was hang in there and wait it out.

Pretty soon I'd moved into my bathroom. I laid there shivering on the cold floor. I was in so much pain. I tried not breathing too much. I tried moving around, then tried staying very still. I prayed my heart out. I prayed not to vomit. I prayed for just a moment of relief that sometimes came from the blinding pain that helped me feel like relief was coming. They were very rare this particular night. I prayed to be okay. I tried to hang on to the thought that I knew I would be just fine, and this wouldn't last forever. It might seem dramatic, but when you are in intense pain, it can be very hard to form cohesive thoughts. As minutes passed and the pain got worse, my thoughts got very short. I didn't pray for help by the hour, or by the minute. It was just to get me through that second. I pleaded every second, trusting that Heavenly Father knew what I needed. Eventually, I became more aware of my surroundings. Feelings of nausea softened. Around 5:30 I made it back to my room and took more medicine. Exhausted, I pulled covers over my freezing body and instantly fell asleep.

I woke up early in the morning with a huge amount of peace in my heart. I could feel my pillow against my body. I could feel it from the outside, the pain inside had totally subsided. I smiled and started praying in gratitude, humbled to remember how I came to learn in moments like that to depend so fully on my Heavenly Father.

I remembered a scripture that had entered my head the night before while I was lying helpless on the bathroom floor. Ether 12:27 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then I will make weak things become strong unto them."

I was reminded that the small problem that had made me feel stretched previously that evening was really not that bad. That there are always worse things than what we are going through. :) That I would choose my small problems because it could always be worse. That God is merciful and will save us when we call out to him, even if he lets us suffer and be refined. It fills my heart with so much love and gratitude for my Father in Heaven. This week, I will be ponderizing on how I am not yet as Job ( D&C 121:10 ). How things could be far, far worse and my life is very blessed! How God, in His mercy, gives unto me weakness, that I can be humble; and with faith and humility, and through His grace, He can make weak things become strong unto me (Ether 12:27).